Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Problems with big breasts

I never understand women who pay to make their breasts bigger.  I am blessed cursed with 32GG and verging on H.  It's not a lot of fun.  In erotica, big breasts are celebrated, as in porn films.  The reality is so different.

Imagine carrying two heavy bags of sugar on your chest every single day.  I like to go running and in order to do this the "puppies" (as a male friend affectionately refers to them), have to be strapped down securely with a hammock of a sports bra.  Apparently I am not exactly built to run.

I try to watch my diet but I weigh in at nearly ten stone and I'm convinced at least a stone of this has to be down to the baps.

One of my favourite actresses, Miranda Hart, commented on the fact that when she rolls over in bed her breasts clap together. I can empathise with this.  When guesting on the TV Show Room 101 she requested to put her breasts in said room.  Frank Skinner declined to do so on the basis they they were too delightful.  Other men may agree with this viewpoint.

Very few of my erotica characters have excessively large breasts, and this is probably because I find them a burden, so it is hard to find them sexy.  Especially now that I am getting older and I sometimes feel like they are swinging round my waist!  Not an attractive look.

When I was younger I was often complimented on my "perfect" body when they were a manageable size 34B.  Oh, those days are a distant memory now.....at least I have some photos from my glamour modelling to prove I did once have a figure! The joy of being able to wear a clingy halter neck dress without being constrained by a bra - and still look pert.

Aesthetically, I find a female body with smaller breasts far more erotic.  I remember seeing German actress Nastassja Kinski in one of my favourite film's, Cat People, wearing a simple skirt and tight sweater - and nothing else - and she simply oozed sex appeal.  I had serious breast envy.

So, how do you like yours?

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

FREE erotica: Try Second Helpings FREE!

I've spent ages today fiddling with my Amazon categories, search keywords, author profile and book descriptions.  Phew!

Anyway, after all that work I decided to run a free promo, as it's been a while, so here's the heads-up that my short story collection Second Helpings is FREE to download until Thursday if you fancy checking it out.


Friday, 19 July 2013

Sex toys, safety and sparkles!

Right, today I was going to write a post about Amazon algorithms (sexy, huh!) but having just read this piece by my writer friend Betty Herbert, I had to share this instead.  It's all about the safety of sex toys, and I got a shock when I read this - because it seems my sparkly pink jelly vibe, which I am rather fond of, might just be causing some potentially serious health problems.  Yikes!

Anyway, I'd urge you to check this out:

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Elizabeth Cage Pinterest Boards

I'm a bit of a novice when it comes to Pinterest, but if you wanted to pop by and see what chocolate I like and my favourite TV Shows - and burlesque performers - then do check me out here:

Saturday, 6 July 2013

Knitted Bananas and the Wanton Words Raffle of Dreams

I have a thing for knitted fruit and it features in the wonderful Raffle of Dreams at the next Wanton Words & Burlesque Bombshells - so if you want to learn how to make a knitted zip up banana, which actually looks quite rude, then do join us on Saturday August 1st. You know you want to....

Related post: http://elizabeth-cage.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/wanton-words-saucy-holiday-romance-on.html

Monday, 1 July 2013

Wanton Words: A saucy holiday romance on Saturday August 3rd

It's back for the summer season....yes, Wanton Words kicks off again on Saturday August 3rd in saucy Cliftonville at the delightfully intimate Tom Thumb Theatre.  

Join myself, Missy Maybe and Miss Glory Pearl for another night of hot, saucy mayhem. Summer's here (so they say) and holiday season is well under way with its promise of sunburn, soggy chips, sex with strangers and sand in sensitive places.

With some very special guests, another hilarious audience competition and a holiday-themed Raffle of Dreams, you're guaranteed some sunshine and balmy temperatures!  Tickets only £10!

Go to https://www.facebook.com/events/270853213054057/